Thursday, October 7, 2010
Men, Go Ahead and Lead Her On
The most important thing a man can do for his wife is to lead her. What wives need the most from us husbands is security and leadership. I'm not talking about being an overbearing boss. I'm talking about being a courageous husband. It takes more courage to be considerate and unselfish than it does to be bossy. No, I'm not suggesting husbands to take up residence in Mamby Pamby land. I'm just saying if you want a great relationship with your wife take initiative, love her unconditionally, and lead her on - you know what I mean. Check out the video by Sanctus Real for further clarification on this issue.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Embrace Life - always wear your seat belt
Check out this video and let me know your thoughts. Besides the original purpose of seatbelt safety, what other purpose and or symbolism do you see?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Great Expectations
Expectations can be dangerous to your marriage, especially if you or your spouse has neglected to commnunicate those expectations with one another. Unspoken pre-conceived ideas that you may have of your spouse can quickly turn an ordinary moment in to confusion and conflict. With this in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to take a lighthearted look at some marriage expectations that could lead to all kinds of trouble.
Marriage Crashers - Expectations:
*Rxpectation - Husband expects wife to take care of him and give him medicine when he is sick just like his mommy did.
*Raised-expectation - Wife expects husband to always make sure toilet seat is raised up before proceding with number one.
*Lowered-expectation - Wife expects husband to make sure the toilet seat is lowered after the conclusion of number one.
*Jetexpectation - Husband expects wife not to tell him to slow down while driving.
*Fedexpectation - Wife expects husband to get the kids to their various activities on time when she is sick or out of town.
*Sexpectation - I think we all know what this one means.
*Great Expectations - Husband expects to watch football all weekend and wife expects husband not to watch football all weekend.
*Complexpectation - Wife expects husband to completely understand what's going on in her mind.
*Simplexpectation - Husband expects wife to understand what's going on in his mind.
*Nextpectation - Wife expects husband to know what chore to do next without being asked more than once.
*Selextpectation - Husband expects wife to know that he has selective hearing.
*Telepathexpectation- Each spouse expects the other to be able to read his/her mind.
Please reply with any other expectations you may think of that can occur between a husband and wife. I am sure I have left some out. Remember, without communication expectation can lead to confrontation.
Marriage Crashers - Expectations:
*Rxpectation - Husband expects wife to take care of him and give him medicine when he is sick just like his mommy did.
*Raised-expectation - Wife expects husband to always make sure toilet seat is raised up before proceding with number one.
*Lowered-expectation - Wife expects husband to make sure the toilet seat is lowered after the conclusion of number one.
*Jetexpectation - Husband expects wife not to tell him to slow down while driving.
*Fedexpectation - Wife expects husband to get the kids to their various activities on time when she is sick or out of town.
*Sexpectation - I think we all know what this one means.
*Great Expectations - Husband expects to watch football all weekend and wife expects husband not to watch football all weekend.
*Complexpectation - Wife expects husband to completely understand what's going on in her mind.
*Simplexpectation - Husband expects wife to understand what's going on in his mind.
*Nextpectation - Wife expects husband to know what chore to do next without being asked more than once.
*Selextpectation - Husband expects wife to know that he has selective hearing.
*Telepathexpectation- Each spouse expects the other to be able to read his/her mind.
Please reply with any other expectations you may think of that can occur between a husband and wife. I am sure I have left some out. Remember, without communication expectation can lead to confrontation.
Monday, September 13, 2010
The 4th C of Marriage
C h r i s t - Religion is one of the top five issues that tend to cause conflict within a marriage. One way to resolve this potential area of conflict from the get go is simply not to have one. That's right, religion would never be a point of contention if a married couple chose not to include any religion in their marriage. However, a marriage that focuses on a relationship with Christ instead of religion can be a tremendous asset to a healthy marriage. Religion is all about rules, obligations, and doing things as a way of making ourselves right with God. Rules without relationship always leads to conflict and or rebellion. However, a relationship with God through Jesus Christ leads to peace, purpose, and joy. Not only does Christ provide these things and much more, He is also the firmly implanted foundation which provides strength and security when the storms of life come crashing in. Be assured, the storms will come - nobody is exempt. The wise man and woman will build their house and marriage upon the Rock - Christ Jesus. The Bible says that Christ died once for all. He died so we might have eternal life. He rose from the dead so that we could have a relationship with Him and live life abundantly through Him. He is the only way to God. An indication of a healthy and thriving marriage is not only a couple's commitment to one another, but a commitment that both husband and wife have to Christ.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
4 C's of Marriage Continued....
communication
Location, location, and location is known as the top three ingredients for successful real estate. Likewise, communication, communication, and communication can be seen as the top three keys to a successful marriage relationship. To be more specific, it's not just what we say, but how, when, and why we say it. Below are some tips on helping a husband and wife from getting lost in translation.
*Don't be tone deaf - Don't let your emotions get you emotional. Be intentional about using a calm voice.
*Accusing leads to losing - Accusation will result in a heated conversation.
*"You" can be a four letter word - Avoid "you" statements unless it's regarding a valid concern, or the words "I"and "love" preceding it.
*Say what you mean and mean what you say - clarification is always better than insinuation.
*Ask, don't tell - Asking your spouse's opinion will add value to him/her and your relationship.
*I see what you are saying - Listen with your eyes. Eye contact demonstrates concern and attention, which in turn conveys value and sincerity to the one speaking.
*Make your words sweet because you may have to eat them.
*Timing is everything - learn to discern; knowing when to say something and when not to say something is a treasured skill. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19 New International Version of the Bible.
*Why ask why - What's your motivation for saying what you feel like you need to say? Be careful if you feel like you need to make a point. Sometimes we really want to make a point and stand on it, but building a bridge is usually much better in a marriage relationship.
I know there are several other things worth mentioning regarding communication, but too much information at once can be overwhelming. So, hopefully you can put these few tips to good use. They really have helped me. Although I have had to learn the hard way a couple of times.
Remember, life's greatest teachers are experience, failure, and Youtube, and maybe a particular blog.
Location, location, and location is known as the top three ingredients for successful real estate. Likewise, communication, communication, and communication can be seen as the top three keys to a successful marriage relationship. To be more specific, it's not just what we say, but how, when, and why we say it. Below are some tips on helping a husband and wife from getting lost in translation.
*Don't be tone deaf - Don't let your emotions get you emotional. Be intentional about using a calm voice.
*Accusing leads to losing - Accusation will result in a heated conversation.
*"You" can be a four letter word - Avoid "you" statements unless it's regarding a valid concern, or the words "I"and "love" preceding it.
*Say what you mean and mean what you say - clarification is always better than insinuation.
*Ask, don't tell - Asking your spouse's opinion will add value to him/her and your relationship.
*I see what you are saying - Listen with your eyes. Eye contact demonstrates concern and attention, which in turn conveys value and sincerity to the one speaking.
*Make your words sweet because you may have to eat them.
*Timing is everything - learn to discern; knowing when to say something and when not to say something is a treasured skill. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19 New International Version of the Bible.
*Why ask why - What's your motivation for saying what you feel like you need to say? Be careful if you feel like you need to make a point. Sometimes we really want to make a point and stand on it, but building a bridge is usually much better in a marriage relationship.
I know there are several other things worth mentioning regarding communication, but too much information at once can be overwhelming. So, hopefully you can put these few tips to good use. They really have helped me. Although I have had to learn the hard way a couple of times.
Remember, life's greatest teachers are experience, failure, and Youtube, and maybe a particular blog.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
4 C's of Marriage Continued....
Consideration - "I" does not live here anymore.
When a man and woman commit to each other in marriage they become a team. And everyone knows there's no "I" in team. I know, some of you would like to point out that there is a "me" in team but that would be inconsiderate instead of considerate, which is kind of the point here. In a marriage relationship the husband should begin to consider her needs and desires before his. Likewise, the wife should begin to consider his needs and desires above hers. Unfortunately, this behavior is not our natural tendency. We tend to focus on our own needs and desires first, and we unconsciously become inconsiderate. As time goes by we revert to our selfish ways and automatically begin to look out for #1. Remember though, in marriage 1+1 = 1. The two (man and woman) become one. So if you think about it, looking out for #1 really means we are looking out for #2, which according to God's marriage math #2 is actually #1. Did you get that? Don't worry about the math and just remember to consider your spouse before yourself. So our attitude and mindset is no longer focused on what "I" need or want. The focus is now directed toward "you". Not me, but you. Many people think marriage is a 50/50 give and take relationship. This mindset indicates that half of what there is to give is being held back. That's like eating a PBJ without the J. The ideal is the 100/100 give relationship. That is, each spouse is giving 100%. This is a win/win. While you are giving 100% to your spouse, you will also be receiving 100% in return. Truth be told, if we men would just "Man Up" and love our wife as Christ loved the church we would never need to concern ourselves with our self again...I'm just say'n. Christ gave himself up for the church (Believers in Christ as Lord and Savior). He considered us to be that valuable. Wow, what a gift. Consideration is an important key to a thriving successful marriage relationship. One of the best gifts we can give to our spouse is consideration. If you are not giving your spouse 100%, take it in to consideration and consider it done.
When a man and woman commit to each other in marriage they become a team. And everyone knows there's no "I" in team. I know, some of you would like to point out that there is a "me" in team but that would be inconsiderate instead of considerate, which is kind of the point here. In a marriage relationship the husband should begin to consider her needs and desires before his. Likewise, the wife should begin to consider his needs and desires above hers. Unfortunately, this behavior is not our natural tendency. We tend to focus on our own needs and desires first, and we unconsciously become inconsiderate. As time goes by we revert to our selfish ways and automatically begin to look out for #1. Remember though, in marriage 1+1 = 1. The two (man and woman) become one. So if you think about it, looking out for #1 really means we are looking out for #2, which according to God's marriage math #2 is actually #1. Did you get that? Don't worry about the math and just remember to consider your spouse before yourself. So our attitude and mindset is no longer focused on what "I" need or want. The focus is now directed toward "you". Not me, but you. Many people think marriage is a 50/50 give and take relationship. This mindset indicates that half of what there is to give is being held back. That's like eating a PBJ without the J. The ideal is the 100/100 give relationship. That is, each spouse is giving 100%. This is a win/win. While you are giving 100% to your spouse, you will also be receiving 100% in return. Truth be told, if we men would just "Man Up" and love our wife as Christ loved the church we would never need to concern ourselves with our self again...I'm just say'n. Christ gave himself up for the church (Believers in Christ as Lord and Savior). He considered us to be that valuable. Wow, what a gift. Consideration is an important key to a thriving successful marriage relationship. One of the best gifts we can give to our spouse is consideration. If you are not giving your spouse 100%, take it in to consideration and consider it done.
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